i could...

be depressed about driving, working, and repetition
be let down with myself for not going after dreams
let myself be consumed more by what i have and have not done

or

use this as a means to an end

...i choose you, pikachu

who knows what i can do, but i hope it's something.

until then, i will do this.

dear penpal

i'm told where you live is really quite far
would you please send directions
on how i can get where you are?

day 2- slowly (slowly!)

i almost called this day three. not right...
the green grass starts to grooooow.

i've been home for a week now. i realize it's only a week, but there are definite changes. good changes.

i haven't run 3 miles since... ever?? that's good.

hopefully tomorrow brings the same. i wish it was hot out.

i'm also really glad to be a part of a fun, NICE, talented cast with Evita. it's my favorite show, in my dream role, and i don't want it to suck. and it won't.

i just need to finish watching black swan again.. perfect! ok, night.

day 1

suc-cess. guess that's all there is to say about that. i love hiking. i hate the impractical risk of bears. and foxes. i need a knife. it felt good running. perhaps working out without a hangover is easier? haaaa i would like to take this time to address 7/8. it is difficult on paper. but if you just feel it and sing it, it has such a good flow to it. rollin rollin rolliiin. i hope no one thinks i'm "abandoning." as always, phones go both ways. as does facebook, email, text, skype (?), blogs (?), whatever. "girl, do you" girl, DO you? beard, itch. that's... all...!

day 0

hi blog, it has been a long time. i tend to write blogs in my head and never write them because i have no computer. so tomorrow is day 1 of my "grabbing whatever by the whatever" fixing it all up physically and mentally. umm... i have goals that i will be setting and i am requiring myself to actually acheive them this time.... hahaha running is something i've always wanted to do, being that my dad and sister are crazy runners. i don't think i'll be doing any marathons or anything, but i want to do 5/10k's by july. that's a goal, yes? i need to tan and work out so i can be second best to antonio in the che department. i need a job that will hold my interest. haha.. yes. ultimately, i need to live with devotion, happiness, and care. things have been rock bottom for us lately, and we are doing our best to perfect this all. "this rock... this rock has been waiting for me my whole life" maybe i should call this "127 days" ... hahaha that would be by august. not soon enough. bye!

skinny bitch

what... the... fuck???

i dunno. figuring things out is annoying, but alas, i am not the only one

"no one cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy"

im sick of my skin cracking

i love chico marx.

ummmm,,, same old i gueth, hehehe!

what had happened was?

it is so typical to reflect on a year, and it is so typical to point out that it is typical to write about a year going by. but i mean, it's within reason... new years is to celebrate the passing of a year, and the beginning of another. therefore, the past year will be on your mind, and you'll BLOG about it.

I'm not going to say much... I would just like to know how I got here. I don't understand what I do, and I have no idea what I'm going to do... I want to write more later.. yeah... Merry Christmas.